Hymn Interrupted

“Oh love that will not let me go…
I rest my weary soul in thee…”

Yeah, right…
Love that won’t let me go?

Ummm… what’s the catch?
I’m not so special.

Am I really so smart?
so pretty?
so talented?
so nice?
so wealthy?
so hard-working?
so good?
so generous?

Oh I suppose I’m a little of all the above.
But still…

To love me means that you know me.
Don’t you have lots of others to know?
I’m only one of 6 billion you know.

Are you sure you have the time or interest to know me?
Me?
Doug?

Why would you want to?
Seriously.

And to love me means that you care about me, have feelings for me, want the best for me, work on my behalf, etc.

Even if I did believe that you knew me…
Why love me?
In fact, I’m thinking that if you really knew me, you wouldn’t want to love me.

Maybe I should remind you…

I have lots of fears, and doubts, and insecurities.
I make mistakes.
Sometimes I am not that interested in you, and wish you would just leave me alone.
Sometimes I consciously and deliberately do what you don’t want me to do.
Sometimes I wander my own way.
Sometimes I give in to the flesh.
And enjoy it.
Sometimes I question whether you’re even there at all.

If you love me then you either don’t really know me,
or you’re a fool!

There must be more worthy candidates for your love…

I don’t get you.

I know.

What?

You don’t have to get me.
I got you.

I knew you before you were born.
Yes, before you were even born I already knew all about you.

And you’re right.

You aren’t worthy of my love.
You don’t deserve it for any particular reason.

But I do.
Love you , that is.

And you know what?
That’s not going to change.

I chose you.
And I chose to love you.

You.
Doug.
Just the way you are.
Warts and all.

You think you chose me…
But I chose you first.

And not only that,
But I bought you!
I paid a dear price to get you.

Oh.

Really?

I see.

But why?
Why would you do that?
It doesn’t really make sense, you know.

Does it have to?
Do I need to a reason?
Do I have to justify myself to you?

Would you prefer a different plan?

Well, no…
I guess not.

But it’s just so…. weird!
Awkward.
Confusing.
Unreal.

I know.

But it’s true.

Ok.

So what do I do now?

What?

What do I need to do?

Nothing.

Nothing will ever separate you from the love that I have for you.

Nothing.

Not death.
Not life.
Not angels.
Not demons.
Not the present.
Not the future.
Not any powers.
Not height.
Not depth.
Not anything else in all creation.

Oh.

Wow.

I’m not sure what to say…

You don’t have to say anything.

Just accept it.

Receive it.
Breathe it.
Live it.
Share it.
Speak it.
Sing it.
Write it.

That would make me smile.

Oh.

Ok.

Thank you.

Thank you… Thank you!

If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue...


“O Love that will not let me go

I rest my weary soul in thee

I give thee back the life I owe

That in thy ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.”